Expectation

"When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required". Luke 12:48

In my opinion, expectation is one concept that is rarely subject to debate despite the fact it plays such a pivotal role in all of our lives. We all expect things. We expect to be treated in a respectable manner. We expect our families to love us unconditionally. We expect to be looked after by those we class as friends. With these examples being common, they are only a handful of the hundreds of thousands of expectations we hold. 

Two particular aspects of this that inspired this post specifically are Our Expectations of Handouts & Our Expectations in Relationships. 

Our Expectations of Handouts.

There's no such thing as a free meal. (Especially for me)...

About a year ago my Magnus Ents bros and I held the second instalment of our variety showcase 'Show M.E. Love'. As one of our give-aways, we teamed up with a Caribbean restaurant in Birmingham to be a sponsoring partner. A month or so after the show, myself and another member of M.E. were in the area with rumbling bellies. What better opportunity to talk about how successful the show went; ask how business was going and discuss potential future partnerships right? 

Wrong!

Honestly speaking, if I told you that I wanted to go in order to discuss business and other networking prospects then I would be flat out lying. When my belly starts eating itself, hunger dominates any rational thought process and this mental imbalance was only exacerbated by the fact that my bro (whom I was out with) had got a free meal the last time he visited them on 'business'. Due to this, I naturally concluded  that as we were business partners, my own free meal was owed too. 

After the owner had spent nearly 45 minutes talking to us about his business portfolio, cracking jokes and talking us through the menu we had decided to get two of the most popular dishes and waited eagerly to receive them. Still laughing from the jokes we had been sharing, the owner brought the food over to us and asked us who had ordered what. My boy answered first, received his food and asked him how much it would be. Smiling, the owner informed him that he "was good" so for the second time in a row he got a free meal. 

Smiling and feeling like I had finally discovered the benefit of running events I held out my hand to collect my own free meal with my 32 teeth gleaming from ear to ear. 

Then the owner paused and looked at the menu...

 "Yours will be.... Errrrrrmmmmm..... £7.50 please" 

Reconstruction of my actual face at the time

Reluctantly digging in my pocket, I managed to have just enough to pay for my meal feeling like I had just been groomed and molested only to feel even worse by the tears of laughter streaming from my boys face. He said he was 'shocked' but not shocked enough to avoid bursting out with laughter in my face. -___- 

I hadn't embarked on spending anything and it was just by luck I even had enough on me. «« Can you imagine what I just said? In other words, I hadn't planned  on spending any money in that restaurant and I expected that I would get a free meal like it was some soup kitchen. Why? What made me believe that I deserved a free meal? Just because my boy had left a positive impression on the owner I felt that due to association, I too would be treated the same. This is a common expectation and one that we need to change ASAP!

We're so quick to state what we expect from others especially when its something that is 'rightly owed' in our eyes. But instead of thinking like that and potentially avoiding disappointment, why not ask "what have I done to deserve it?"

There literally is no such thing as a free meal. God helps those who help themselves and the same can be said for life in general. Without working for or earning something, expecting to obtain it is like expecting to win the lottery without even buying a ticket. Expectation can only occur once there has been an exchange between it and hard work. Instead of walking through life with a virtual hand open ready to collect, why not put that hand to use and start grafting for your own meal? The people who do the most for others rarely expect anything in return yet these are the people that are often very fortunate and highly blessed- it isn't by chance. 

Our Expectations in Relationships. 

 "I don't understand, they just changed. The relationship used to be so different. I really didn't expect them to make me feel like this..."

How many times have you heard a variation of the above statement? I reckon it is one of the most common sayings stated after a sweet relationship has turned sour. Again, this stems from the topic of this blog post. The battle that is Expectations vs Reality is a fight we all must contest in whether we like it or not. There are so many ways to ensure you come out of this duel victorious, but then again things are always easier said than done... 

1. Don't expect change in others. 

You meet someone and you're instantly fascinated by so many aspects of them. Your paths are similar. Your backgrounds are similar. This is the person who you believe could be... dare I say it?... The 'one'. But there's an issue. Something about them just doesn't sit well with you. Perhaps they are a bit too outspoken. They have too many friends of the opposite sex. Maybe they don't give you the amount of attention you'd like and they call you too sporadically for your liking. But not to worry, after a few weeks or months, you'll be able to show them why you don't like that aspect and because you're so fantastic they'll now change how they've been before they knew your ass even existed. 

Really? This is what you think? Cool, cool- let me know how that goes! 

Don't ever for a second think like this, it is a prerequisite for feeling like a fool further down the line. If you see smoke, don't expect there not to be fire. Without being sexist, or generalising an entire sex- (which I am against strongly), I feel this is a trait that tends to be present amongst more females than males- (don't attack me before hearing me out). 

I've heard of so many occasions where women have tried to change men to suit them and they believe that although they have negative aspects that really piss them off in the beginning- all shall be well in the end. Turning a bad boy good is the most common example of this. 

The same can be said of men though. If you met a girl who was wild, loved partying or was a bit too flirty at the start, don't expect a reserved, humble and quiet girlfriend. Like the saying goes, "you can't make a ho a house-wife." Harsh but too damn true! People can change but don't expect them to. 

2. Managing Expectations. 

Besides from not trying to change your partner. Make sure you do not raise an expectation far higher than what could be reached in reality. If you're opening the door for your lady on the first date, checking on her all the time and perfectly fine with her having male friends make sure you stick to this. 

Similarly ladies, if you're looking after your guy well,well; cooking for him; always ensuring that you look your most presentable and just being as nice as you possibly can please just make sure that this charade can be played out forever. Don't allow people to see a side of you that you know deep down is not an actual representation of your character. Anything done, said or shown in the beginning stages should be maintained throughout the entirety of a relationship. 

Again, this is so easy for someone to say but much harder to practice. However if achieved, you'll soon notice that although you may not have as many potential candidates, your recruitment selection will be so vigorous that you would have ensured only the best fruit make the basket- no rotten apples here! 

The depth of this concept couldn't fully be explored without causing my fingers and thumbs to bleed. But then again, you didn't expect me to cover everything now did you?