Quote of the Week...

“Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better” - King Whitney Jr.

Change

One of the most relevant and indeed one of the more discussed themes is that of change. I couldn’t count on all of my hands and even toes the amount of times this week alone I’ve thought about and even experienced it.

The most basic definition of change is to make or become something different than to a previous state. If you think about it like this, change may seem like an impossible mission. It may not always be possible to alter a current situation that is relatively small, not to talk about even thinking about changing ourselves.

I realised yesterday that the reason I was having trouble writing this post was because change is such a massive area to focus on, I couldn’t possible cover everything in one go. So I’m gonna do something new and break this into three parts. If you ask me (well by you reading this I’ll assume you have asked me), when it comes to change, there are three key types of people:

1)Those who are reluctant to/afraid of change:
2)Those who actively try to change
3)Those who think that change will come along and slap them in the face

Today, I’m going to talk about the first one-Those who are reluctant to/afraid of change- (a category I too fall under at times)...

Those who are reluctant to/afraid of change.


In my opinion, the issue with most of us is not about the situation itself but rather our reluctance to change.

One of my closest friends goes by the motto of: “if it’s not broke, don’t fix it”. There are times when this is true and I can’t lie I’ve often referred to this very saying to defend my hesitation towards change. But in reality, we usually use this saying to mean: “it’s broke, I know it’s broke, but I don’t want to fix it, it’ll do like this”.

Take myself for example, I started work and since doing so I have realised that being forced to adapt to new surroundings can only be a good thing. I am very different to my new colleagues in various ways, for the first time in a long time I felt out of place.

The working environment and the lifestyle I’m used to are worlds apart. Learning how to carry myself in a formal setting, interacting with very important people and socialising with people from completely different backgrounds is a scary prospect. This was the case until I realised that I was not actually scared of the new environment waiting for me, rather, I feared the idea of becoming someone that wasn’t me and having to put on a front for a year just to get by or even worse was the fear of not being able to fit in.

Sure, I could use the old excuse of “I’m the only black person on my floor” but that would be just a defence mechanism to some degree (this concept will be discussed in an upcoming entry).

In reality it is more of a case where I and many of you reading this will have done in the past, tend to be most secure when I am surrounded by people who I BELIEVE I can relate to. More times or not, these will be people of the same race.

This is such an ignorant yet common thing to believe and it boils down to not knowing anything out of our comfort zone and not ever being forced to branch out of this zone or being reluctant to do so whenever an opportunity presented.

Expanding your horizons.


A lot of us see change as such a big issue because the idea of it goes further than the horizons we have set for ourselves. To tackle this, I have thought of a few pieces of advice/made some observations:

1. Don’t be afraid to take bold steps… You’ll never know if you never try!

2. Open your eyes… Life is too short for the same old routine and just sticking to what you’re used to.
In the space of a week I’ve eaten Caprese (which is basically juicy tomatoes and mozzarella. The freshest mozzarella I’ve ever eaten was from Pizza Hut so this was heaven to me :), a Carne Picante Calzone (this is like a pizza rolled up and baked) and yesterday I accidentally tried Calamari (baby squid). The funny thing is that although I am anti-fish, it actually wasnt that bad.

3. See the world...A friend of mine mentioned that she wanted to take a tour around London even though she’s lived here her whole life. At first I laughed at her because it sounded silly but when you think about it, how many of us actually can say we’ve seen the whole of London? Certainly not me. I’ve seen more parts of London in a week than I have in the whole of last year! (serious tings be dis!) It’s imperative that we take the opportunity to see as much of the world as possible, even somewhere as small as London is not a bad place to start.

4. The other side of change may be so close and yet it may seem so different- the various bridges across the cirty are all perfect examples. For instance, it’s remarkable how different each side of Tower Bridge is. At work, I overlook tall office blocks and just a few hours later once I get home I’m stuck staring at a block of flats that just over a year ago suffered from a fire that killed several people.

What I’m trying to say is that a bridge can represent change. You can stay on one side of the bridge and learn to accept whatever situation you’re going through and accept that shit wont change for you. Or you can decide to cross that bridge and see what life has to offer you on the other side.

It is possible to make that leap across from what your used to to something new, provided you're willing to take that first step because being reluctant to change does us no favours in the long run. Given the fact that life is so uncertain, it’s time to understand that change is natural and something to strive for.

Look out for the other two parts of change:

2)Those who actively try to change
3)Those who think that change will come along and slap them in the face

Turning Negativity into Positivity

I got a placement!

So today was my first day at work on placement. WOW! I was nowhere near ready to be thrown into the fire straight out of the sizzling frying pan that was my 2 years away at university. Apart from me being disgustingly ill last week and the passing of my grandfather... I was actually quite ready for whatever my first day could throw at me.

I had on one of my fine Hawes & Curtis shirts, new cufflinks, shiny leather shoes, new suit complimented only by my freshly trimmed hair and sharp shape up... to be frank...I was looking the part (I must sound so arrogant- oh well ;-)

I had given myself just the right amount of time to get to work but as it was my first day I was quite eager and anxious to be on my way. When I finally got on the bus that would take me directly to work, I found myself welcomed by a surprisingly cool breeze. This was perfect! I mean who really wants to start work with sweat patches anyway?

Then it hit me.......

“Since when did buses get air conditioning under the seats?” The pleasant cascade of air soon turned to a disturbing nightmare...

I had somehow managed to rip my brand new pair of Burton trousers *BBM crying emoticon* Just my flipping luck! I mean what are the odds of me realising that my brand new trousers were ripped on route to my first day in the office?

I was not at all impressed and thought about doing something real predictable and kissing my teeth and complaining about it for the whole day with the acceptance that I was doomed to have a terrible first day at work.

Then another thought hit me......

If I look at the glass of milk as spilt let alone half empty then it will be just that. But if I looked at that damn glass as being half full or better yet spilt all over the place and appreciated that at the end of the day it was just milk. Then I would be right also.


Optimism.

What I’m trying to stress is that whatever you feel... you’ll be right. You can look at the day ahead as being against you and ultimately just another one of life’s blows or you can just laugh it off and say that the day can only get brighter.

Funnily enough, when I arrived at the office, I waited in the reception with a rip in the groin of my trousers just smiling to myself. Then about half an hour later and with nobody appearing to have remembered it was my big day, the phone rang... it was my new employers.


My lucky break!

They rang and said that an emergency meeting had come up and that I was free to come back in an hour. Remembering I had noticed a dry cleaners on my way, I decided to head back in order to get my trousers repaired and avoid receiving embarrassing names from my new colleagues such as ‘Rippy McDonald’ or something to that effect- (don’t ask me where I thought of that name).

When I got to the dry cleaners, I realised that I had no spare trousers that I could wear whilst the tailor mended my emergency wardrobe malfunction. LOL- I was in a tower bridge dry cleaners chilling in my boxers with a shirt and tie on.................................................................. #casj!

It was actually funny and very humbling to sit there whilst the tailor sewed away at my trousers, funnily enough I had not heard one of the employees mention to me that I could change in the fitting room behind the till- #double LOL.

So I went into the fitting room and the tailor handed me my trousers... at that point he was like a miracle worker who had just healed a sick man in front of my eyes. Ironically, the amount I paid to fix my trousers was exactly the amount I saved when I purchased the suit with my student discount and even more ironic, an emergency meeting had permitted me the chance to be able to even contemplate repairing my trousers as I started an hour later than I first expected.

From that point on, I knew my day would be good and good it was. I had a nice time just immersing myself within the work culture but soon became tired as it had been a long while since I had worked.

The moral of the story is to remember one thing. No matter how you look at something, you’re going to be right- it’s the old story of a self-fulfilling prophecy. So next time you think you’re having a bad day, just remember thinking positive takes less energy and you can end up having a great day you wont forget.

Quote of the Week...

"The difference between the IMPOSSIBLE and the POSSIBLE... Is a man's MOTIVATION"

Self-Investment

One of the many things that seem to puzzle me is the concept of ‘self-investment’. By this I mean any source of money that we devote solely to ourselves. I’ll use my own situation as an illustration to my point...

Recently, I had the most disgusting pain in my teeth that was affecting my sleep in the worst of ways. At first, I decided to ignore it and just lay down on the sugary stuff I was eating on to get me through the day- (you know them 3 for £1 bags of sweets at Tesco’s lol). When the pain grew in intensity I decided to turn to drugs (no I didn’t start smoking Sour D, I took paracetamol). When this too only offered little solution to my problem I decided to start brushing my teeth whenever the pain caused and was strongly against the most obvious cure to my issue- to go and see the bloody dentist!

The main reason for this was that (and I am not ashamed to admit this btw), I owed the dentist money following treatment I received. Me being over 18, I was no longer eligible for free check-ups and had to make up a story that time just to make a clean getaway- this being that I was on benefits and therefore exempt from paying. A blatant lie they found out after investigating.

The issue in this was not that I did not have the money to pay for my teeth- far from! it was more of a “Am I a dickhead? Why am I going to pay for something that last year would have been free? KMT” type of attitude and until very recently I saw nothing wrong in this way of thinking.

Self-investment phobia.


We as young people are victim to this disease I call ‘self-investment phobia’. Any type of situation that requires us to spend money on bettering ourselves and maximise our health we are reluctant to engage in but if we were in the West, End, we wouldn’t even hesitate on spending the same exact amount on a new pair of designer shoes or trainers... especially if they’re on ‘sale’.

Another good example is whenever I went food shopping with my friends there was always an unofficial battle between us to see who could spend the least. If we were in ASDA, one friend in particular would fill up his trolley with more green and white than at a Super Eagles world cup qualifier. If it means saving a few pounds off the total bill, this same friend would opt for southern fried chicken breasts with less than 33% real chicken in it (:O). I would also often get cussed for choosing 100% pure, not from concentrate juice or smoothies as nobody could understand why I would want to spend so much on something that I could have got for a fraction of the price.

The reason I did and still continue to do so is because food is one of the only things we get to enjoy by ourselves and if it means that spending more will guarantee more enjoyment, why not? Especially when that enjoyment is a healthier option for us.

You're worth it! Aren't you?

Whether it be the decision to spend thousands of £’s on driving lessons or parting with £30 a month on gym membership... I urge you to do so without regret. Self-investment is something you should continually strive for as it for the most important thing you’ll ever get to spend on... YOURSELF! Fair enough you might use the old “but allow it, i’m a student” line or say that “man’s grinding out ere” but you can sit tight with that cock and bull right there.

Life is there to be enjoyed, and lived to the fullest. In the words of Nigerian music artist M.I.: “Don’t spend your life getting money... Coz you can’t spend money to get life!”