Live & Maintain: Part 3- Stunting

Key terms explained:

1. Stunting

Verb; To show off one's wealth or the appearance of wealth, aware it may cause ill feelings and or envy in others. 

2. Stunt

Verb; to floss or to “ball so hard mothafuckas wanna find you” (That shit cray!).

3. Stunter

Noun; Someone who engages in the act of stunting.

I thought it would make sense to set this final part of the 'Live & Maintain' 3-part special with a definition of this remarkable concept. From reading parts 1 & 2 you knew that you should be Saving and I know you knew too well about Spending but what do you REALLY know about Stunting? Fear not, I'm here to tell you...

For one, the word also means different things in other contexts such as 'false' or 'pretending'. However, keeping up with the two previous blogs, this context will look at the term ‘stunting’ in the financial sense. 

How to tell if you’re a stunter:

1. Do you take numerous photos of material possessions and publish them for the world to see? 

You know those photos on Instagram where the person artistically shows off their designer top, jeans, watch, belt and trainers all in one image and have the cheek to put "just chilling" as the caption. Or those girls who twist up their ankles to ensure the red bottoms of their Loubs are prominent in the shot just so you know that they own a pair? This is stunting.

2. (To the ladies specifically): Have you perfected what I describe as the 'chicken wing' arm? 

This is how I see ladies cradling their bags so that it swings flawlessly from the elbow for all to see? This to me is stunting. Not so much due to the designer but more about how they carry themselves because of the bag. Are you carrying your Louis bag or is it carrying you? 

3. Do you dress head to toe in matching designer? 

You know those guys who are always Gucci’d out. Whether it is in a rave or in the library they're a walking brand ambassador. I'm talking: the woolly hat, scarf, shades, top, belt and even shoes to match. Why you even would need to wear the full winter collection to a sweat-box uni rave eludes me completely. Or to make matters worse, the brothers who wear Gucci, Louis & Prada all AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!!! 

Stunters! –the lot of ‘em. 

All jokes aside, as funny as it is to describe, I actually chose to write about this topic for a good reason. Stunting is a real problem and without excluding any of my readers, especially for young Black people...

I've always been astounded by what we choose to do with our money. It could be argued that when a Black person has a bit of money to spend, a large proportion of the time that money is spent on buying something to show their peers that we’re living a certain life or can afford to buy certain things, (regardless of whether or not this is actually true). We buy flashy cars only to drive back to council flats, tuck our tops into our belts to showcase the designer and go into unplanned overdraft in order to fund the purchase of exotic hair: 

"Don't get it twisted, this aint Remy, this is the finest hair this side of Rio de Janeiro. Straight Braz bay-bee!" 

Really?

What I find mind-boggling about it all is we have a tendency to forget who we're buying these things for. Are you buying for yourself or are you buying to show off to others? Are you buying that designer item because you genuinely believe it’s nice and can afford it or are you purchasing it to show that you have it and to portray to others that you can afford it? Ladies, why must you explain the origin of your weave? 

Instead of sharing a story about the travels your purchased hair has been on, why not just glue a label that says "Made in Peru" or stitch the National flag onto your scalp- surely it'll save you having to promote? If you really bought the hair because of its quality why should you have to state its exclusivity? Unless someone explicitly asks you where you got your weave from I'd have to conclude that the reason you're telling them is to seek some sort of "ooooh, ahhhh" recognition or portray the idea of being better.

Similarly my fellow men, if your designer belt is "just a belt" why have you tucked your trench coat inside your jeans? I'm sure if your belt was from Peacocks it would be a different story entirely. Speaking from personal experience of owning one, I know that these expensive belts are bought mainly for stunting reasons. Sure it may be fine leather and last a long time but there are also belts of similar if not higher quality for much less money. If you got the belt solely with the intent of holding up your jeans with a bit of quality why is it that you copped the most flamboyant of all designs? Big buckles draw attention to the designer and of course yourself but what a tacky way of doing so- especially when you're not even being paid for your services to the brand. 

What I'm trying to emphasise is that the concept of purchasing items only to flaunt to others is nonsensical. We're spending money to promote brands and luxury goods at the expense of others. Its’ intriguing that we'd rather spend money trying to put others down and make them feel inferior as opposed to trying to elevate each other. I'm not saying that this is the direct intention every time someone stunts but it is certainly true of some. 

How to avoid Stunting: avoid being ostentatious with your purchases 

Os·ten·ta·tious 

Adjective: Characterized by vulgar or pretentious display. 

In other words, being ostentatious means to display an appearance that is flashy or tasteless. Having an outfit of full Louis V monogram print, wearing the shiniest jewellery or donning the largest sized logos would all be examples of this type of behaviour. Some may be wondering what's wrong with doing this if you like to but I'd just like to ask you this quick question: How many times have you seen wealthy non-Black people showing off their wealth by wearing big name brands for all to see? Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs all being prime examples. If these people who can easily afford to stunt but choose not to, what makes us as young adults living completely opposite lives feel we can justify it? Moreover, why do we do it and what are we trying to accomplish? 

It is no surprise why some may struggle ever to have a good lifestyle they can maintain because instead of saving the money or investing it they'd rather buy something to make them look like they have money- how does this make any sense? 

I had to stop myself a few weeks ago from purchasing the re-released Jordan 4’s because I couldn't justify why I wanted them other than the fact I knew people would wonder where I got them from and secretly hate me when they realised they were sold out by the time they’d even seen them on me. Before I pressed ‘add to basket’, I thought to myself: after I post photos of them online, wear them a few times to get one or two people asking me where I got them from, the novelty will run out and I’d still be down £105 because I wanted to stunt. It's not by force we must buy every "exclusive" product out- this is just clever marketing to target the vulnerable who'd rather fill up their wardrobes than fill up their mum's kitchen- US! 

Why do we Stunt? 

I feel that we're influenced heavily by the culture we can most easily identify with- popular culture. By that I don't mean pop music but rather what is popular to us in terms of all influences. Music for instance- I'm a massive Hip Hop fan but I think that too often we can get lost in the lyrics and music videos some artists publish where they brag about drinking expensive champagne, driving cars worth houses and getting customised/exclusive attire. This is all great and fine for them because for most, that life wasn't the same for them growing up so they feel stunting now makes sense. However, for us, our lives aren't like that now yet we still choose to stunt and emulate these same people. Whether that means drug dealing, being fraudulent, using others to buy us things or draining our student loans- we too feel the need to stunt. 

The choice of whether or not to stunt is one for us to make at the end of the day. Although I may have specifically directed my attention to young Black people, do not for one second believe that this trait is restricted just to this group of people or that it is an innate part of our biological make-up. I just find that compared to all the other races, we would rather spend money proving our wealth as opposed to creating it through hard work, sharing it with others or better yet, providing others with the secrets to create their own.

In the future, if you do feel the need to stunt just ask yourself "who am I stunting for?" Buying things now that are too expensive or frankly unnecessary purchases isn't going to help you get the lifestyle you're trying to display. Live life as fulfilling as you possibly can whilst maintaining a solid, financial foundation that your future can be built upon. If that can be achieved, further down the line you’ll probably discover that you can genuinely afford all of these lavish items you seek but hopefully by then you would have realised why they aren't even important. Everyone deserves a treat now and again and of course I too have some expensive items in my collection but just use your head, spend only what’s left after saving don’t make stunting an excuse not to save. 

So to conclude this topic: 

1- Try to SAVE more 

2- Try to SPEND less 

3- Try to STUNT minimally 

... and that in my opinion my friends is how to Live & Maintain. 

Mr. Adz

Live & Maintain: Part 2- Spending

Last week, I wrote about the importance of Saving but for those who haven't read it, click here to read it now.

Unlike Saving, Spending is the one 'S' out of the three that we probably know the best. It's hard to think of a time where we haven't spent money for longer than a 48 hour period. From the dawn of civilisation, people have spent in exchange for something else. From gold, cotton to even people being sold as slaves. It could be argued that as long as you can get the money for it, anything can be purchased.

Before this becomes a history lesson, let's fast forward to the present day. Consumerism has taken over society and we're spending more than ever before. Double-dip recession what? If we want something we all find ways of finding the money to spend on it, whether those means are legitimate or not is another topic entirely.

So what's wrong with spending?

Nothing. There are so many necessary products and services that provide basic, beneficial roles in our day to day lives that cost money to be produced so of course we need to spend money to obtain them. There are also hundreds of thousands of products that although not contributing directly to our quality of life, make it more enjoyable, productive & interesting.

There is however something very wrong with having to justify the money you just spent, especially if is justifying it to yourself... This usually occurs when Spending becomes 'Silly Spending'- when the desire of buying something overrides the logical reasoning for not purchasing it.

Silly Spending.

For my 21st Birthday last year I purchased something I had wanted for a few years prior but couldn't justify its purchase. I have this mental wish list called the 'one day I will have...' and it was right up there along with a Segway scooter & a date with Christina Millian, only this was much more realistic (and more necessary to me at the time).

So.... what was this luxury gift I had been hungry for? A new car maybe? A 3D TV perhaps to takeover my whole box room? Or even a very nice holiday away?... 

None of the above I'm afraid. What I wanted was so much more attractive to me at the time...

                                              

- I got myself a Gucci belt.

So the time had arrived. I was en route to West End to get my baby. For the half hour or so that I was in the Flagship store on Old Bond Street store I pretended I was the same as the other customers in the store. A luxury purchase was just chicken change to me and not something that would actually dent my pockets. Trying on jackets that I knew I couldn't afford and having the sales assistant point out matching shoes that I knew I couldn't buy was just part of me lying to myself & trying to condition my mind into believing this purchase wasn't a silly one. 

Having known which one I'd wanted for years, me trying on a few different options was pointless but as the saying goes "when in Rome, do as the Romans do".

As I parted ways with £200 of my hard-earned cash at the till, I felt a piece of me tear away. No this wasn't the money being plucked from my pocket, this was a bit of rational thinking breaking loose but I still proceeded and paid for my new belt. 

Immediately after I left the store I felt nothing. 

"Is this it?"

I asked myself. All those years of wanting it and now the feeling of owning a Gucci belt had left me feeling no better than when I had entered the store. If anything, I felt worse considering I was £200 down. I had planned to feel spicier than a 5'5 Blackanese babe in denim shorts, eating an extra spicy 1/4 chicken at Nando's. Instead, what I felt was lemon & herb at best. Of course I did what a lot of us would do in that situation. No not march back in the store and return it- I found a way of justification.

Justifying Spending. 

"You're only 21 once. You've earned a treat. It's a quality piece that will last you for years." 

These were the words I told myself. I even called my good friend for them to reinforce my reasoning. Having just purchased an even more expensive gift for them self, I thought they'd be the ideal person to reassure me that I hadn't lost the plot. This they did and did well. It was like I was seeking their approval for my spending and by them agreeing with the above reasons was like them signing off my expense and making it acceptable.

Now I know I am not the only one who does this. There are times when you've bought or are thinking about buying something and for some reason or not you can't entirely explain why you should get it. Nine times out of ten its because its too expensive or just isn't that necessary so we come up with ways to explain the thinking behind it. I have a good friend who says:

"If you couldn't afford to pay for it twice, you shouldn't buy it once." 

I think its a bit extreme & not entirely accurate but I see the logic behind it. Whatever the case, you shouldn't have to present an argument as to why you should buy something even if you're pitching that argument to yourself. If in doubt, leave it out which is why the same belt in question ended up on Ebay a few months later. Granted I lost about £50 on it, but at least I had recovered £150 to be more wisely spent.

Spending within your means/avoiding Silly Spending.

I'll stress again, there's nothing wrong with spending- as long as you can afford to.

Scenario 1: You're a student. You eat value bread and top it with 33% ham. Ribena or dilute squash is a luxury. Yet with all this being the case you 'need' a new outfit for the coach rave you had to borrow money to buy tickets for.

Is this life?

Scenario 2: You've just bought a nice new car and everyone loves it but of course it doesn't pay for itself. Realising that on the rare occasion you actually receive petrol money from your new found friends who  now always have "motives" for you, it will never be substantial. Having a car shouldn't become a trade-off between petrol money and having enough to buy food to eat. It could seem as if the car is driving you if you can't seriously provide the means to look after both it and yourself to a decent level.

You should never be unable to provide financial support for your loved ones just because you spent that money on a silly purchase:

Scenario 3: Your mum's in a bit of a tight spot and you'd love to help but you 'need' a new designer jacket. 

Last time I checked, you could get decent jackets without breaking the bank so that response would be pretty weak but I do understand, it happens. 

Notice how I put the word "need" in inverted commas? That's because too often we confuse needs with wants and start to believe that by spending on certain things we'll actually be able to satisfy a need. The problem with this though is that with every need satisfied, a new one replaces it- especially when these needs have been manufactured. Remember:

 "If you don't learn to appreciate what you currently have, you'll forever be lacking."

Spending vs Saving.

Having disposable income is a must. Its great to have money put aside so you can spend on whatever you feel like. If you've already worked out your outgoings and put some money away then by all means spend without having to clench you bum cheeks & hold your stomach at the till. Just ask yourself this:

"Would the money I'm spending on this be better off saved or invested elsewhere?"

Purchasing something that adds no value (sentimental, personal or economical) is just plain foolish. Yes ladies you can buy yourself new UGG boots, but how great will they look if you can't even afford to replace your ripped leggings or body lotion for those ashy knees?

Guys-being head to toe in Louis V may be cool but not when I see you in McDonald's using your student discount to get a free cheeseburger. If you can afford to look the best then you should be able to afford to eat the best too.

There's nothing bad about Living, just make sure you remember to Maintain also. 

'Stunting' is the third 'S' & the last instalment of the 'Live & Maintain' topic which will be focused on next week so stay blessed & keep posted.

Mr. Adz

Live & Maintain: Part 1- Saving

It would be a myth to think that I could explain how I feel its best to Live & Maintain all in one post. So therefore this is the first instalment of the 3 S' Trilogy- (Saving, Spending & Stunting). Saving- by far the most important yet most overlooked aspect of this topic.

Good financial management and young people seem to be as familiar with each other as an overweight person and a vegetable salad. The problem with this is that like it or not, money moves the world whilst a lack of it moves nothing.

Look at the financial crisis for instance- the mismanagement of money had global ramifications that have affected us in ways many of us are yet to understand. What seems even harder to grasp though is how much money we are literally squandering away each and every day. 

In my other post, Y.O.L.O. (apparently) I described an increasingly worrying epidemic- one of which I feel is directly responsible for how we view money currently. Too often we are living for the moment and not giving a rat's ass about the future. Life is for living, but a life with low financial security? I cant imagine that being a very pleasurable existence.

I remember my first job in JD Sports in West End *smiles reminiscently*. I was so excited about the prospect of not only working for the same company I'd spent hundreds of pounds with but more importantly having a regular source of income from them. To sweeten the deal (or make matters worse) I was getting paid weekly. So naturally, as any responsible, young 17 year old would have done at the time I set up a savings account and moved most of my income to my savings account each month.

                                                                     

                                                                               YEAH RIGHT !

I saved absolutely nada for like half of my time there. Being surrounded by the latest trainers & sportswear was a constant source of temptation that I couldn't resist, especially not when I would receive 25% off. I mean it's not like I was spending someone else's money? This wasn't money I'd robbed or inherited, this was my own money from my own hard work- what I did with it was my perogative... Or so I thought.

It wasn't until my mum walked into my room one day and saw her worst nightmare. No I am not referring to alcohol, drugs or even a weapon, I'm talking about boxes upon boxes of brand new trainers stacked on top of each other. She was fuming and didn't hesistate to verbally rip me apart about how I had handled my money.

No this wasn't an actual photo but you get the point! 

"Don't save what is left after spending, spend what is left after saving"- Warren Buffet

I wish my mum would have said this as eloquantly as Warren Buffet and avoided making me feel stupid but the overall message was the same. She pointed out that instead of me putting money aside for a rainy day, I had decided that today was more important. Having the latest footwear made me look good and feel even better so why not spend the money on myself after all, that's Self-Investment right? Wrong! (Click here for my blog post on this).

In these troubling times, prices are at an all time high and are only set to rise further. I remember the day when finding a £1 coin meant you could get a packet of crisps, chocolate bar, can drink and some sweets whereas now you'd be lucky to get any two of these without haggling with the shop keeper (which can be quite time-consuming and embarrassing).

In order to live just a decent life you need to have a small amount in savings so how do we get off expecting million pound lifestyles when our bank accounts are currently in overdraft? It just isn't happening I'm afraid.

Thinking ahead.

So recently me and Lacey went our separate ways. It was an emotional experience to see the girl you've become so attached to going off with some random bloke she just met but it had to be done... I had to sell my first car.

And bye bye to my J. Cole album I left inside the CD player 

It all came down to me being realistic with myself. Yes driving is a great convenience, but when that benefit becomes more expensive than helpful it's time to call it a day. MOT renewal, insurance renewal, parking fines, miscellaneous costs and not to mention the increase of petrol prices were all indicators that it would be a much wiser idea to sell my car, cut off all related expenses and save that money up. Going from an employed man on placement back to a broke ass student again next year won't be a smooth journey but I believe these type of decisions cushion the ride.

Setting money aside.

Each time I get paid, I aim to put around 70% of this into my savings where I will not be tempted to touch it. Although very painful, I'm motivated by the fact that I know it will only help me further on down the line. Also, it's good to see extra digits in your bank account instead of seeing minuses.

Try to agree with yourself a realistic amount that you can save each month and start that rainy day fund because you honestly never know what tomorrow holds. Having a healthy amount of savings is like always having at hand; an umbrella, wellies, sun shades, 3/4 shorts, wooly hat & a jacket for whatever type of weather tomorrow brings, rainy day or not- you'll be prepared.

Every little does help.

Similarly, have a piggy bank. I used to honestly hate brown coins and would do anything to get rid of them (even throwing them away at times) until I realised that if I stored all my lower value coins away, after a year or so I'd have a decent amount to do with what I please so this is another simple way we can all save. Every now and again why not throw a couple of silver coins in there too, in fact go on, throw in a £1 coin into the mix- you know you want to.

"Yeah man, I'm not even trying to spend right now, I'm saving up for a mortgage"

My actual face when this statement's said

This comment angers me inside whenever I hear it as it doesn't even make sense. This makes me wonder if they even know what they're on about. Whether they think it just sounds cool to say or whether it makes them believe that they're clued up.

A mortgage is a type of loan and you can't 'buy' loans. What you can do though is save up for a deposit that you will have to surrender to get a mortgage and this starts from £10K+ depending on the value of the property so no time better than the present.

Get your credit game up.

We've been taught that credit cards are bad, they cause debts blah, blah, blah. This is false. The cards themselves do nothing, rather it is how we use them that does everything else. One thing they're good for is boosting our credit rating which banks look at when deciding on whether or not to give us a loan. So do not think that just because you have a deposit it's in the bag- far from, your credit rating plays a big role. For those still cautious about credit cards, either read a great article on moneysavingexpert.com (click here)  or try other methods of credit boosting such as taking out mobile phone line rentals, paying back overdrafts on time and a few others.

It doesn't end there...

This is only 1 of 3 parts of the 'Live & Maintain: 3 S'. Trilogy. Our purchasing decisions and what we do with our purchases go hand in hand with how we save so be sure to check out the next posts on the second and third 'S'- Spending & Stunting.

- Mr. Adz -